It’s probably because of my age and the fact that I’ve been
in two long-term relationships that I am now very picky when it comes to
settling down and starting a relationship with a guy. In my previous
relationships, I barely knew my partner when we got together. Both were
whirlwind romances of sorts, such that after a few dates (which led to
you-know-where), we decided to take that leap and become committed to each
other. While both relationships lasted for years, both ended because of the
realization that, while we would still be compatible as friends, we just
weren’t compatible as life-long partners. Which brings me to my point – I’d
want my next partner to be my last one. I’d like to know him very well before
entering into a serious relationship. And, I have come to terms with myself
that if that does not happen in this lifetime, then so be it.
This is probably the reason why I now have very high
standards in men. A good educational background is a must (which should
translate in good communication skills). I’d also prefer someone who is
financially stable and can keep up with my lifestyle (that’s but fair, right?).
Of course, sexual compatibility is still a requirement, but it’s no longer the
priority unlike before.
I’ve dated a number of guys for the past year or so that I
became single. Nerdy engineer had passed all my requirements, but we were both
so driven in our careers that we no longer had time for each other. Also, while
I prefer an introvert like me, he was extremely introverted, which was, sort of
a deal breaker for me. We remain good friends until this day. Marketing guy was
a chubby but handsome Spanish-looking dude. Our dates were perfect – he had no
qualms holding my hand discreetly in public, we were compatible in bed and we
were of similar family backgrounds. Until he confessed he was already in a
relationship. To be honest, I considered being the legal “mistress,” but
eventually decided against it. I have not communicated with him ever since. And
then there’s this adorable 19-year old guy. He’s still studying, but is
extremely mature for his age. With his solid goals in life, I sometimes think
that he is more mature in age than I am. But the thought of the
more-than-a-decade age gap has always been at the back of my head, wondering if
there is indeed a future for us. We still have good long talks, but not as
frequent as before. I made that conscious effort since I am scared to
completely fall for him.
I have never been the type to search for Mr. Right. For me,
people come and go in our lives, and whoever is meant to stay, will stay. While
I know that there are a lot of fish in the sea, and that I would eventually
find the right one for me, at times I think that I prefer a big, fat, juicy
medium-well steak all by my lonesome and I’d be completely satisfied with it.
